Dirty sex, filthy sex, nasty sex – it seems that most of us like to, or are at least in the habit of, describing sex in fairly dark ways. Of course, very few of us really believe that sex is dirty, filthy or nasty, but there is something about ‘getting down and dirty’ that sounds a lot more appealing than ‘making sweet sweet love’.

The same observation can be made about the way in which we talk to our partners about and during the sexual act. ‘I want to ride you hard’ tends to get the primal desires roused far more effectively than ‘I want to enjoy rigorous intercourse with you’, even though both statements say roughly the same thing.

I think that our preference for talking dirty stems from cultural ideas about sex that were handed down to us during childhood. Many of us were taught, either explicitly or implicitly, that words such as ‘cock’ and ‘fuck’ were ‘dirty, nasty words’ and shouldn’t be used to describe male genitalia or the act of intercourse. In fact, they were the regular Saxon words for precisely those things, and it wasn’t until society arbitrarily decided they were impolite that they were viewed as anything other than regular words. Naturally, as soon as polite society outlawed the open use of such words, they were all endowed with the ability to turn us on more than they had ever done previously.

Of course, some people really do think that sex itself is a dirty subject, and some people consider even married sex to be a waste of time unless the couple in question are trying to have children. Okay, maybe such people will concede that it’s acceptable to have a bit of missionary once a month as a token, but even mention oral sex, anal sex, mutual masturbation or handcuffs and they will look at you as if you need locking away.

In a way, this isn’t such a bad thing, because it can add a hue of teenage rebellion to married sex that keeps us feeling young and daring. ‘How many other married couples fuck as hot and hard as we do?’ we might ask ourselves in a self-congratulatory way. The fact is that millions of other married couples are just as hot and hard in the bedroom, but because society likes to keep such facts away from the public consciousness, we all end up feeling a bit unique and rather proud.

My advice is to take that sense of pride and run with it by continuing to have as much dirty, filthy, nasty sex as you like. It won’t change anything, but embracing the concept head on (if you will) can make your hot married sex even more exciting than it already is.

In a previous Hot Married Sex post entitled Porn to be Wild? I talked about whether watching porn was a good or bad thing in a marriage, and my conclusion was that it depends on the people in the marriage. If both partners are happy to watch porn and derive pleasure and benefit from it then there’s no reason not to as far as I can see.

That said, I think we all have to be careful, especially if there are kids or visitors in the house. Having your Aunt Mabel come across your suuposedly well-hidden DVD stash because you forgot to rescue it from the spare room isn’t something that you’d be likely to forget in a hurry, and it’s because of risks like this that more and more couples are beginning to rely exclusively on streaming or downloadable porn.

Streaming porn is online porn that you watch on your desktop or laptop computer, and the advantage is that it’s convenient (no shopping trips required if the mood hits you suddenly) and there are no physical DVDs to hide from Aunt Mabel. Downloadable porn is basically the same as streaming porn, but you can store it on the hard disc of your PC, laptop or USB drive and watch it again and again without being online. Both types of porn are available via my XXX Links page.

There is a great piece of FREE software called Heat Seek that I strongly recommend to anyone who wants to keep their online porn collection private and secure. Heat Seek is a free download and it enables you to browse adult sites in complete privacy, save files securely and password protect everything. It also gives you access to loads of free online porn from quality sources.

If you value your privacy and want to keep your online porn collection between you and your spouse, get your FREE DOWNLOAD of Heat Seek today.

Sex and the brain are intimately linked. In fact, we’ve all heard that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone in the body of both men and women. What this means is that if you don’t turn your brain on, you’ll have a hard time turning anything else on. Here are three secrets of Erotic Psychology that you can use to help put yourself in the mood…

See Yourself As An Object Of Lust
No matter how long you have been married, self-confidence is the most attractive quality you can have.  The more you can project an aura of confidence, the more erotically appealing you will be.  All you need to start experiencing and projecting this high level of confidence is the right mindset.  Simply imagine as vividly as possible that you are sexy and desirable. Get into the habit of doing this several times each day and you will automatically conduct yourself in a sexier, more attractive way. Not only will this make you feel more like having hot married sex, it will also make your spouse feel like it too.

Generate Sexual Energy
The more you think about sex before the actual event, the more sexual energy you generate, resulting in bigger, more powerful orgasms when that energy is finally released.  You should therefore make a point of having sex on the brain several times throughout the day, perhaps by reading an explicit book or magazine, visiting one of my XXX Links, thinking about your lover or simply losing yourself for a few minutes in a favourite erotic fantasy.  If you do this regularly, you will find that your sexual energy – and the level of satisfaction you experience – increases dramatically,

Give As Though You’re Getting Paid For It
When you’re finally between the sheets, act as if you and your spouse are getting paid an enormous amount of money for your efforts.  Either take it in turns to role-play being an escort to each other, or imagine that you’re both being filmed for what will be the most erotic movie ever made.  Both attitudes will make you a more attentive, proactive lover, and your partner is likely to reciprocate with an equal amount of focus and enthusiasm.  Enjoy!

The sex escort fantasy is a great role-play for married couples to use when one partner is not quite as turned on as the other, but both would like to be in the same hot mood. The basic idea is that the partner who isn’t quite as aroused adopts the role of a sex escort and agrees to deliver the hottest sexual service their spouse can demand – if the price is right.

Yes, I’m suggesting that you talk about money, just as you would if it were a real sex escort situation. Money doesn’t have to change hands, but acting as if it will gives you good reason to talk about what the ‘client’ spouse wants and how much the ‘escort’ spouse will charge for such a service. And talking about hot sex in what is, for a regular marriage, a fairly unusual scenario (not many couples I know have ever even met a sex escort, let alone been serviced by one), can often be a massive turn-on for both participants. Consider the following scenario…

‘So, how much?’

‘That depends. What do you want?’

‘What do you offer?’

‘Blow job and hand job, clothed or naked. A blow job is £40. A hand job is £30. Full sex for an hour will cost you one £100. Role play with uniforms is an extra.’

‘What else?’

‘You want something else?’

‘I might.’

‘Well, tell me what it is and I’ll give you price.’

‘Okay, let’s say that I want you to….’

You get the idea. Discussing the sex escort deal in advance of the main event will not only make the role play more realistic, it will also increase the arousal of both you and your spouse. In fact, the spouse playing the escort role could well be just as turned on as the one playing the client role by the time the two of you get to the bedroom.

And once you’re there, all you have to do is make sure is that the service promised is the service delivered. Money might not actually change hands, but a deal is a deal…

Oral sex techniques can help you to increase the amount of satisfaction that your partner gets from oral sex itself, and also increase the intensity of their eventual orgasm. Here are some oral sex techniques that you can use to drive your lover wild in bed…

Fellatio Techniques

- Don’t be afraid of using your hand and masturbating your man whilst you have him in your mouth. Although the head (or glans, if you prefer) is the most sensitive part of the penis, stimulating the shaft as well will add a lot to his pleasure.

- Use your tongue in different ways. Flick the head of his penis with the tip of your tongue, rub the underside of the shaft (just below the head) with the flat of your tongue and feel free to take his penis out of your mouth and lick it like an ice cream.

- Make eye contact. Men are visually stimulated, so look at him when you’re giving him head and let him see how much you’re enjoying it.

- Act ravenous. Men love the idea of their wives being hungry for oral sex, so let yourself go and be enthusiastic about it. Just be careful with your teeth.

- If your hub wants to come in your mouth and you’re not keen because you don’t want his load hitting the back of your throat and making you gag, you can do what many porn stars do and tuck the head of his penis under your tongue as he comes. This will control the flow at the moment of ejaculation and you can then spit or swallow when he has finished.

Cunnilingus Techniques

- Don’t go straight for the clitoris. Instead, spend some time licking and gently sucking the lips of her pussy before circling the clit and – eventually – stimulating it directly with your tongue.

- You can use your tongue in many different ways (as I told women a few moments ago). Try lapping at her with your tongue loose and flat or using the tip of your tongue to provide more direct massage. You can also try stimulating her clitoris with the underside of your tongue, as many women love the sensation that gives.

- Use your fingers at the same time as performing cunnilingus. Insert a finger or two (with the pads of your fingertips facing the ceiling, assuming she’s lying on her back) and massage her G Spot gently at first and then as firmly as she likes when she gets closer to orgasm.

- Some women – though by no means all – also like a finger inserted in their anus during cunnilingus. If you aren’t sure about this, either ask your wife beforehand or have the little finger of your free hand lubed and in the vicinity of her ass as you perform cunnilingus. Ever so lightly touch her anus and if she likes what you’re doing she’ll automatically bear down on your finger or tell you to go for it. Just remember that once a finger or anything else has been near her ass, you should never use it to stimulate her clitoral or vaginal region, as this could cause an infection.

The oral sex techniques provided here are simple to follow but should provide hours of fun for everyone. Enjoy!