Hot Married Sex

Erotic photography can be a turn-on for many married couples, and I’m not really talking about just looking at it. Actually grabbing a camera and taking erotic pictures of each other in various states of dress and/or undress can do wonders for the libido.

Exactly why erotic photography is so powerful a tool is difficult to pinpoint. Some people simply like the idea of their spouse getting turned on by looking at them – it makes them feel more desirable and, yes, maybe they get a thrill from being viewed as an “object of lust”. Others find that posing for erotic shots makes them feel more confident as a sexual being. And still others like the whole “power play” of directing or being directed to pose in a certain way, adopt a certain look, and so on.

If you and your spouse would like to consider exploring erotic photography, here are some suggestions to get you started:

Make sure you’re both keen. Taking erotic photos is only a turn-on if you both enjoy it. If one of you doesn’t want to take photos, drop the whole subject and find something that you’re both keen to try. There will be plenty of other ideas presented in this blog so come back often or subscribe to our RSS feed for inspiration.

Decide what kind of photos you want to take. Do you want to take pictures of each other, or will just one of you be the model? Clothed, semi-clothed or nude? Do you want the pictures to be softcore and erotic or hardcore and explicit? There are no right or wrong answers to these questions, but establishing your goal at the outset will ensure that you proceed accordingly.

Use a digital camera. If you only have a camera with film then buy a digital camera and any accessories you might need (our own Hot Married Sex store has a HOME MOVIES page that might be helpful) otherwise you might blush when you collect your pictures after processing.

Enjoy the photography. Most couples enjoy taking the photos more than looking at them afterwards, so enjoy the experience fully. Get into the fun of it, get turned on and – as if you needed any encouragement – have great sex afterwards.

Review and purge. After you have taken your first batch of photos, review them together and decide which ones are keepers and which ones you want to delete. Continually reviewing and purging older photos whenever you take new ones is a good way of ensuring you don’t end up with thousands of images when you only want a few dozen.

Store your photos securely. The keepers should be stored securely – a USB pen drive can be handy for this, as it can be kept in your bedside drawer. If you decide to store your photos on the drive of your main PC, put them in a secure folder and don’t forget to delete them if you sell the computer at a later date, otherwise you could end up more famous than you might like.

Erotic photography is more about attitude than looks. Few of us have “Perfect 10” physiques, and in reality few of us find Perfect 10’s very appealing, so if you have the desire to take erotic pictures with your spouse, go for it. Who knows? You might even progress to making home movies…

It seems that sex videos are a bit like taxis and buses here in the UK - you wait for ages and then watch several turn up at once. Here’s another funny “sex” video and, like the last one, it’s a television commercial - this time from furniture manufacturer and retailer IKEA. It’s not the kind of commercial they’d allow responsible adults to watch on UK television (we are, as everyone knows, totally averse to sex of any kind) but fortunately we get to see it via YouTube.

Talking dirty is one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to better sex that I know of, but what exactly is it, why does it work and how can we make it more effective. Those are the questions I want to explore here.

Dirty talk can best be defined as “sexually provocative language”. In other words, it’s language that we use to try and provoke a heightened sexual response in our partner. Note the way I slipped the word “try” in that last sentence. I did that because not all forms of dirty talk will be considered provocative to all people.

Calling one woman “a fucking slut” in the middle of sex may drive her wild. Calling another woman the same could well result in a slap across the face and a sudden period of enforced celibacy. The same applies when women attempt to talk dirty with their husbands. A woman who says “fuck me like a whore!” might get a great response from one type of guy, and no response at all from another.

For dirty talk to be effective, it needs to be tailored to the person who is going to hear it. Obviously you know your spouse better than anyone, so take a moment to think about the kind of things that are likely to drive them wild in bed and formulate a plan to make your dirty talk as effective and mutually satisfying as possible.

Questions To Ponder

What kind of words does your spouse use? What do they say when they refer to a pussy, cock or the act of having sex? When you have clarified this (we all know but seldom think about it) it makes sense to use the same words when talking dirty – unless you know that coming out with a stronger word at the right moment will send your husband or wife over the edge.

What tone of voice does your partner like? Tonality, accent and pronunciation can be just as important as actual content, so be aware of not only what you say, but also of how you say it. Would your husband want you to whisper “fuck me harder” or to scream it out loud? Would your wife want you to moan “God yeah” quietly or to hiss “God, yeah!” through gritted teeth?

What scenarios turn your spouse on? Knowing this can help you tailor your talk so that it presses their buttons. If your husband likes it when you act like a porn star, you can talk like one (watch a few movies for inspiration if you need to). If your wife likes to fantasise that she’s been hired as your escort for the night, talk to her as if that’s the case.

The point here is that the most effective way of using dirty talk to drive your spouse wild is by giving them what they most desire. You will get turned on the more they get turned on, so you both win and hot sex is virtually guaranteed.

I came across this humorous video on YouTube and I thought it was a great illustration of miscommunication in marriage and how it can lead to sexual frustration. The video is actually a commercial for a telecommunications company, so it’s safe viewing for anyone.

Yesterday I talked about whether watching porn was a good or bad thing in a marriage, and my conclusion was that it depends on the people in the marriage. If both partners are happy to watch porn and derive pleasure and benefit from it then there’s no reason not to as far as I can see.

That said, I think we all have to be careful, especially if there are kids or visitors in the house. Having your Aunt Mabel come across your well-hidden DVD stash because you forgot to rescue it from the spare room isn’t something that you’d be likely to forget in a hurry, and it’s because of risks like this that more and more couples are beginning to rely exclusively on streaming porn.

Streaming porn is porn that you watch on your desktop or laptop computer, and the advantage is that it’s convenient (no shopping trips required if the mood hits you suddenly) and there are no physical DVDs to hide from Aunt Mabel.

Of course, you have to be selective about where you choose to buy your online porn. What you want to look for is a site that is legal, licensed and responsible and provides a good an ever-growing range of movies at a reasonable price. You also need to make sure that the site has excellent customer services should a stream or download go wrong.

One of the best places we have found for streaming porn is Strictly Broadband. It’s a British-based company with a wide selection of titles that can be viewed on demand. There are also movies that you can download to play on a video iPod or PSP, which is handy. Other providers can be found on our XXX Links page.