Muff-Diving versus Cunnilingus
In my previous post on Screaming Orgasms I somehow – accidentally, inadvertently, and undeliberately – used the phrase “muff-diving” to refer to the act of cunnilingus. It has now come to my attention that said “muff-diving” is a term that some women don’t like.
Maybe it’s because it makes cunnilingus sound like an Olympic sport. Or maybe some women don’t like to refer to their muffs as muffs because they shave their pubes. In this case, would a shaved muff be better referred to as a buff? And would buff-diving then be a similarly unacceptable term?
It never ceases to amaze me how language divides people, especially in the area of sexuality. Should we say vagina, pussy or something else? Should we say penis, cock or dick? Is cunnilingus preferable to muff-diving, eating out or drinking from the furry bowl? And what about fellatio? Is that really any more polite than saying cock-sucking or dick-licking?
Some people could get offended when I refer to hot sex as “fucking”, because they might assume that fucking doesn’t involve love. But for me, it does, because I only ever fuck my wife, and I love her to bits. And that brings me to my point, which is this: words can only be offensive when the person being offended brings their own definition to those words.
When I say muff-diving I mean the fine art of going down on my lady and performing a loving act of cunnilingus. That’s my definition of the phrase, so I don’t find it offensive or intend offence when I use it. However, if you picture a guy standing on a diving board wearing a snorkel and flippers, about to make a leap of faith into an overgrown pussy – sorry, vagina – then I can understand how it might not be such a pretty phrase for you. But remember, YOU put that guy in flippers, not me.
So, whilst you’re here, make yourself useful and tell me what words you prefer to use for the following. Also tell me which words for the following turn you on the most, if those are different:
1 – Penis
2 – Vagina
3 – Sexual Intercourse
4 – Fellatio
5 – Cunnilingus
