Hot Married Sex

Sexual polarity is a simple concept that couples can use to make their relationships more exciting, intense and passionate. Note that I said relationships rather than sex lives. This is because sexual polarity plays just as large a role in daily life as it does in the bedroom.

The term sexual polarity refers to the two opposing ends of the masculine-feminine spectrum, and the concept that you can use to improve your relationship is this: opposites attract much more than those who are of a similar polarity. For example, if you are an extremely masculine man, you will be more attracted to an extremely feminine woman than you will to a masculine woman. Similarly, if you are a very feminine woman, you will be more attracted to a very masculine man than you will to an effeminate one.

Isn’t that common sense? Well, yes and no. Yes, because it’s a concept that has been at work (even if not defined) since the dawn of mankind. And no, because far too many couples complain about losing the “spark” in their marriage without considering whether this sexual polarity principle has been broken. And if you aren’t aware of it, the principle gets broken all the time.

Consider a very masculine man who marries a very feminine woman. As the years pass, the woman becomes stronger and more independent. She is used to being in charge at work, and brings that skill home to organise the household and family. At the same time, the man learns to soften his approach to life, communicates more openly about his feelings and even discovers that he enjoys cooking meals for the kids. All of this is good stuff in one context, but because both partners are moving towards each other on the sexual polarity scale, passion in the relationship will automatically decline.

You may think that I am being rather old fashioned here, and deserve the wrath of a thousand feminists, but I am not. The same sexual polarity principle applies to so-called fem-dom relationships where the female enjoys dominating the male and the male enjoys submitting to the female. In these situations, the passion is at its strongest when the female displays the maximum masculine trait of domination and the male displays the maximum female trait of submission. If the man suddenly gets more pushy, or the woman gets more lenient, the dynamic of the relationship changes automatically.

Now I am not saying that we should all choose one end of the spectrum and stick to it rigidly. It’s important for men to acknowledge their feminine side, and just as important for women to acknowledge their masculine side. What I am saying is that being aware of this sexual polarity concept can help you to identify if your relationship could be improved by adjusting the balance a little.

For example, if you know that you and your partner are more like buddies than polar opposites on the sexual polarity scale, you can take steps to move in opposite directions and brace yourselves for the increase in passion and intensity that will automatically follow. I will present some concrete ideas on how to do this tomorrow. Until then, have a think about the sexual polarity scale and try to identify where you and your partner appear on it. Then mark the scale to reflect where you both were when you got married. We will use that information tomorrow.