Hot Married Sex

Sexual tension plays a big role in the ability to enjoy hot sex over a lifetime with your spouse. My very simple equation is Quantity of Tension = Temperature of Sex. Bear with me and I’ll explain what I mean.

When a couple get together for the first time, there’s a lot of sexual tension because they hardly know each other, and they are total strangers sexually. The sex therefore tends to be pretty hot and memorable even if it’s fairly straightforward as far a sexual positions and variety is concerned.

Then, as the couple get to know each other more, the sexual tension begins to wane a bit, because tension is fuelled by surprise. The more you know your partner, the fewer surprises you can look forward to, the lower the tension and the more lukewarm the sex becomes.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing at all wrong with lukewarm sex if it makes you both feel comfortable, and it’s way better than having no sex at all. But there is a danger that if things get too predictable you will start viewing sex itself as a rather meaningless act of “going through the motions” – of having sex out of habit more than out of any real desire.

If a couple has a major disagreement, particularly if it threatens the relationship itself, sexual tension skyrockets. A relationship that you thought was stable suddenly isn’t. A person you thought you knew so well that you could predict their every word and deed has thrown you a curve ball. You’re surprised, dammit! And even though you might be as angry as hell with your partner during the disagreement itself, if you make up and go to bed, the sex will usually be as hot as the tension that preceded it.

So what’s my point? Well, I’m not advising couples to start arguments with each other just to have better sex, because in the long term that’s asking for trouble (though you’d be surprised at how many people deliberately pick arguments for that very purpose) but we can increase sexual tension in other ways that are nothing but helpful to your relationship.

Interested in knowing more? Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post…