Hot Married Sex

Porn videos don’t just have to be watched as their directors intended. There are a few creative porn video uses that are almost artistic yet still succeed in establishing an erotic or downright horny, atmosphere.

I suggest you pick a night when you and your spouse are guaranteed to be alone (you won’t want unexpected visitors) and then consider using one of the creative porn ideas below to establish a more intense sexual ambience in your home…

Muted Porn
Put a porn DVD into your player and then mute the sound. At the same time, play your favourite CD on your hi-fi and sit down with your spouse to enjoy a conversation over your favourite drink. There’s something unusual about listening to smooth jazz or classical music and enjoying a night of conversation whilst the TV is showing porn stars going at it like animals in heat.

Blind Porn
Here’s a variation on the previous idea. This time you should play a porn DVD and turn off the TV but have the audio coming through a surround sound system, so that you can hear but not see the action. Conversation may be more stilted when you try this, but you’ll be surprised at how much of a turn on listening to other people have hot sex can be.

Big Screen Porn
If you have a multimedia projector (you can now buy rudimentary but serviceable models for just a few hundred pounds or dollars) then  consider closing the curtains and projecting your favourite porn film onto your bedroom wall. Getting down and dirty with larger-than life porn stars in the background will be something you remember for a long time.

Hot Married Variations
Don’t like the idea of having regular porn in the house? Why not record your own movie with your spouse and then use that to replace the porn DVD in any of the previous suggestions? If you don’t like watching yourself, try the blind porn idea. If you don’t like listening, try the muted porn. And if you’re happy to watch and listen to yourself, why not put yourself on the big screen?

Being creative with porn can lead to a much more memorable night than simply watching it on TV with the remote in your hand. The suggestions presented here put the porn in the background so that you and your spouse can focus on what’s most important – each other.

Erotic photography can be a turn-on for many married couples, and I’m not really talking about just looking at it. Actually grabbing a camera and taking erotic pictures of each other in various states of dress and/or undress can do wonders for the libido.

Exactly why erotic photography is so powerful a tool is difficult to pinpoint. Some people simply like the idea of their spouse getting turned on by looking at them – it makes them feel more desirable and, yes, maybe they get a thrill from being viewed as an “object of lust”. Others find that posing for erotic shots makes them feel more confident as a sexual being. And still others like the whole “power play” of directing or being directed to pose in a certain way, adopt a certain look, and so on.

If you and your spouse would like to consider exploring erotic photography, here are some suggestions to get you started:

Make sure you’re both keen. Taking erotic photos is only a turn-on if you both enjoy it. If one of you doesn’t want to take photos, drop the whole subject and find something that you’re both keen to try. There will be plenty of other ideas presented in this blog so come back often or subscribe to our RSS feed for inspiration.

Decide what kind of photos you want to take. Do you want to take pictures of each other, or will just one of you be the model? Clothed, semi-clothed or nude? Do you want the pictures to be softcore and erotic or hardcore and explicit? There are no right or wrong answers to these questions, but establishing your goal at the outset will ensure that you proceed accordingly.

Use a digital camera. If you only have a camera with film then buy a digital camera and any accessories you might need (our own Hot Married Sex store has a HOME MOVIES page that might be helpful) otherwise you might blush when you collect your pictures after processing.

Enjoy the photography. Most couples enjoy taking the photos more than looking at them afterwards, so enjoy the experience fully. Get into the fun of it, get turned on and – as if you needed any encouragement – have great sex afterwards.

Review and purge. After you have taken your first batch of photos, review them together and decide which ones are keepers and which ones you want to delete. Continually reviewing and purging older photos whenever you take new ones is a good way of ensuring you don’t end up with thousands of images when you only want a few dozen.

Store your photos securely. The keepers should be stored securely – a USB pen drive can be handy for this, as it can be kept in your bedside drawer. If you decide to store your photos on the drive of your main PC, put them in a secure folder and don’t forget to delete them if you sell the computer at a later date, otherwise you could end up more famous than you might like.

Erotic photography is more about attitude than looks. Few of us have “Perfect 10” physiques, and in reality few of us find Perfect 10’s very appealing, so if you have the desire to take erotic pictures with your spouse, go for it. Who knows? You might even progress to making home movies…

Yesterday I talked about whether watching porn was a good or bad thing in a marriage, and my conclusion was that it depends on the people in the marriage. If both partners are happy to watch porn and derive pleasure and benefit from it then there’s no reason not to as far as I can see.

That said, I think we all have to be careful, especially if there are kids or visitors in the house. Having your Aunt Mabel come across your well-hidden DVD stash because you forgot to rescue it from the spare room isn’t something that you’d be likely to forget in a hurry, and it’s because of risks like this that more and more couples are beginning to rely exclusively on streaming porn.

Streaming porn is porn that you watch on your desktop or laptop computer, and the advantage is that it’s convenient (no shopping trips required if the mood hits you suddenly) and there are no physical DVDs to hide from Aunt Mabel.

Of course, you have to be selective about where you choose to buy your online porn. What you want to look for is a site that is legal, licensed and responsible and provides a good an ever-growing range of movies at a reasonable price. You also need to make sure that the site has excellent customer services should a stream or download go wrong.

One of the best places we have found for streaming porn is Strictly Broadband. It’s a British-based company with a wide selection of titles that can be viewed on demand. There are also movies that you can download to play on a video iPod or PSP, which is handy. Other providers can be found on our XXX Links page.

Is pornography an aid or an obstacle as far as having hot married sex is concerned? This is a question that many people ask, but the short answer is that there is no short answer. Whether porn enhances a relationship or otherwise depends on the individuals involved in the marriage and what their perceptions of porn are to begin with.

Couples who agree that porn is harmless fun can get a great deal out of porn. They can use it together to increase libido, maybe learn a few tricks and spark a hot, steamy session that brings them closer.

Couples who agree that porn isn’t harmless fun – for whatever reason – can choose to avoid it and find other ways of increasing their libido, expanding their sexual repertoires and keep sex hot and exciting.

The only couples who might have some difficulty with porn is where one partner is really into it and the other isn’t. In this scenario I believe the spouse who is enthusiastic about porn has to discuss the issue with their partner. There are a couple of questions that could be asked:

What is your partner’s definition of porn? It could be that they assume all porn is hardcore to the extreme and involves peanut butter pony play in gimp masks. If so, they might still feel comfortable watching much gentler porn with a plot that provides a more romantic context.

How would they feel about you watching porn in private from time to time? If it’s an issue for them you need to find out so that you can respect the wishes of your spouse and keep your marriage strong and healthy. Watching porn in secret may give you a thrill in the short term, but if the cost is marital peace and harmony, I’d say the short term thrill would come at far too big a price.

What alternatives to porn would your partner be willing to explore? How about verbal porn, where you both create your own scenarios? Or maybe reading explicit fiction to each other would provide all the thrill you need to pep up your sex life?

This is a big subject, so I will be revisiting it in the near future. For now, I’d conclude that porn isn’t actually necessary for a married couple to have hot sex, but that it does help many – especially when they’ve been together for years and know every inch of each other intimately.

And for those of you who want to explore the world of non-porn sexual video (yes, there really is such a thing!) I suggest you take a look at My Beautiful Agony and I Feel Myself. You may be surprised at just how arousing non-porn can be!