Hot Married Sex

Does your sex life ever feel like it’s become something of a routine? If so, you’re not alone – it’s a common complaint among married couples; even those who have a routine of hot sex. For that reason I’d now like to present you with six ways to vary your sexual routine that might prove useful…

Have Fully Clothed Sex
Most of us get naked when we have hot sex, so try keeping your clothes on for a change. Yes, I’m talking about fully clothed sex. It can be more erotic than you might imagine. All that lifting of skirts, pulling aside of panties and unzipping of flies. Give it a go. But pay for your own dry cleaning.

Make It Wet
Do you use lube? Where do you put it. Thought so. Stop being so predictable and try using it everywhere. Grease each other up and then get down and dirty. Be careful though, it’s slippery when wet.

Choose Sex Names
Ask your partner to choose a sex name that represents their unbridled lust, and do the same for yourself. Then, when you’re having sex, be sure to use those names – a lot. This idea is similar to role play, but requires a lot less planning. That said, it can just as hot if you allow yourselves to get into the spirit of things.

Make Love Like A Porn Star
Watch a porn movie (or a sexy 18 movie if porn isn’t your bag) with the explicit intention of copying your favourite scene. Tip for the guys: that movie with the gang bang scene in the garage probably isn’t a good one – choose a straightforward male-female scene that your wife enjoys as much as you do.

Wear Masks
Okay, so maybe you laughed when you watched Eyes Wide Shut, but masks have plenty of erotic potential because they give you both and “excuse” (as if one were necessary) to really let loose. You’ll be surprised at how hot things can get when you both agree to wear a simple mask, so get your ass to the fancy dress store ASAP.

Oppose Your Routine
My final suggestion is that you deliberately oppose your routine by doing things in the exact opposite way that you normally do them. Do you normally fuck with the lights on? Turn them off. Do you have hot sex at night? Try the mornings or afternoons. Is it always in bed? Get busy in the lounge, or why not hire a hotel room for a weekend?

None of the six tips presented here require a degree in rocket science, but they can all fire up the booster engines of your hot married sex life. Ready to launch? Then get to it…

Hot sex is a great stress management tool, and by making sure that you enjoy hot sex on a regular basis, you can dramatically decrease the chances of being overwhelmed by the trials tensions of daily life. Some people rely on pills and potions to keep their stress levels under control, but hot sex is a much more natural – and arguably much safer – alternative.

We all know that physical exercise helps to reduce stress, but few people remember that hot sex – sex that gets your heart racing – is just as much a form of exercise as swimming, jogging or using a Stairmaster. Okay, you might not burn quite as many calories in bed as you would on a treadmill, but you will still increase your heart rate, release feel-good chemicals (endorphins) and burn up the feel-bad chemical cortisol.

I know that if I go more than a couple of days without having sex, I get stressed very easily. I also know that when I get stressed I feel less like having sex. This is a common situation, but if you aren’t aware of it you could well find yourself in a place where you never feel like having sex and you think the solution is to wait until you feel less stressed. Lots of couples fall into this trap, and as a result they can go for weeks, months or even years without sex, eventually concluding that “sex is overrated anyway” and settling for a life of celibacy by default.

There’s nothing wrong with celibacy if it’s a deliberate lifestyle choice and you happen to be single, but in a marriage sex is a very important glue that helps to hold the relationship together, so allowing stress to slowly dissolve that glue is potentially allowing the relationship itself to weaken.

If regular sex helps to relieve stress and keep a marriage strong, whilst irregular sex allows stress to build up and can put the marriage at risk over the long term, it makes sense to take sex seriously. So be wise and make a point of enjoying hot sex regularly with your spouse. Remember, a hot fuck a day keeps the Prozac at bay…

Sexual Magnetism is a quality that some people have which makes you start thinking all kinds of hot, nasty, sinful thoughts as soon as you lay eyes on them. It’s sexual magnetism that gets the libido racing, makes panties damp and turns a flaccid penis into a raging hard-on.

The really good news is that anyone can increase the amount of sexual magnetism they radiate. All you have to do is follow a few simple tips. So, if the idea of silently compelling your spouse to desire you like never before is one that appeals to you, work through my step-by-step guide and make it happen…

Get Confident
First, realise that sexual magnetism is all about self-confidence. You can’t be sexually magnetic if you aren’t confident, so get yourself into a strong, confident frame of mind. Know that you’re sexy and desirable. If you don’t believe that to be true, imagine how confident you would feel if it were true. Once you’ve got that feeling, hang onto it and pretend it’s yours. Act confident and you’ll feel confident.

Magnify Your Magnetism
Next, make sure you dress the part. Sexual magnetism is magnified if you present yourself properly. Whilst a strong force of magnetism will shine through even a pair of old dungarees, putting it in a pair of stockings and heels (for women) or a smart shirt and chinos (for men) will increase the effect it has on the people around you.

Unleash Your Inner Porn Star
Now that you feel confident and look confident, you need to make sure your walk and talk make the grade. Porn stars can use their body language and speech to radiate sex even when they’re not on set, and you can do the same. Unleash your inner porn star so that you move and communicate like someone who the whole world wants to get into bed with and you’ll soon notice that your spouse is a lot more interested than usual.

Employ Innuendo
Sexually magnetic people are masters of innuendo, and they can use a conversation about anything to put explicit thoughts in your head. Start employing the art of innuendo yourself by using words and phrases that can just as easily be associated with sexuality as they can with the subject at hand. For example:

Innuendo for Men

I guess you’ll just have to suck it and see.
You’re a real handful sometimes.
Yes, I know it’s hard, but sometimes hard is good.
There’s nothing wrong with be open.

Innuendo for Women

Sorry. If I do that again, just bend me over and spank me.
Is it as hard as it looks?
Did you want to come too?
We should turn the TV off and turn something else on instead.

Follow the four tips I have presented here and you will not only increase the amount of sexual magnetism you radiate, you will also notice a surge in the libido of your spouse. What happens next is up to you….

Yesterday I put forward the idea that sexual tension leads to hot sex. If this is the case, how can we increase the amount of sexual tension in our marriage without damaging the relationship itself? Well, there are in fact several ways, and the most useful are as follows:

Retain Some Independence – Although it’s inevitable that couples grow closer the more time they spend together, you should try to make sure that both of you are able to retain some level of independence. Enjoy separate hobbies and interests, have a few non-mutual friends and generally work at keeping at least some aspect of yourself out of the “couple” category. This will ensure that you and your partner don’t become clones with opposing genitalia, and helps keep sexual tension alive.

Agree To Disagree – Couples who insist that they have to agree on everything, no matter how trivial, are inadvertently quelling the sexual tension in their marriage. Just because you’re married to someone doesn’t mean that you have to have exactly the same views on minor matters. Yes, broad agreement on major issues is important, but a little disagreement about whether it’s better to spit or swallow, or watch porn on DVD rather than on a computer (to provide just two appropriately sexy examples) can be a good thing, because it increases tension a notch or two.

Surprise Your Spouse – If your spouse can predict your every move and word, sexual tension will be low. Increase it by breaking out of habitual patterns and deliberately surprising your partner every now and again. Use explicit language if you’re normally shy and reserved in bed. Reveal one of your most secret fantasies in the middle of a conversation about utility bills. “Forget” to wear underwear and make sure your partner discovers your omission. And if you’re the kind of person who does all of that anyway, go to the opposite extreme and surprise your spouse with flowers, chocolates or a new CD.

There are plenty of other ways to increase sexual tension in a safe way, so I’ll leave you to think up some of your own. Just remember that sexual tension is directly related to difference and surprise, so the more different and surprising you can be in areas that aren’t of any great importance, the more you will be able to keep the tension high and enjoy the hot sex that is associated with it.

Sexual tension plays a big role in the ability to enjoy hot sex over a lifetime with your spouse. My very simple equation is Quantity of Tension = Temperature of Sex. Bear with me and I’ll explain what I mean.

When a couple get together for the first time, there’s a lot of sexual tension because they hardly know each other, and they are total strangers sexually. The sex therefore tends to be pretty hot and memorable even if it’s fairly straightforward as far a sexual positions and variety is concerned.

Then, as the couple get to know each other more, the sexual tension begins to wane a bit, because tension is fuelled by surprise. The more you know your partner, the fewer surprises you can look forward to, the lower the tension and the more lukewarm the sex becomes.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing at all wrong with lukewarm sex if it makes you both feel comfortable, and it’s way better than having no sex at all. But there is a danger that if things get too predictable you will start viewing sex itself as a rather meaningless act of “going through the motions” – of having sex out of habit more than out of any real desire.

If a couple has a major disagreement, particularly if it threatens the relationship itself, sexual tension skyrockets. A relationship that you thought was stable suddenly isn’t. A person you thought you knew so well that you could predict their every word and deed has thrown you a curve ball. You’re surprised, dammit! And even though you might be as angry as hell with your partner during the disagreement itself, if you make up and go to bed, the sex will usually be as hot as the tension that preceded it.

So what’s my point? Well, I’m not advising couples to start arguments with each other just to have better sex, because in the long term that’s asking for trouble (though you’d be surprised at how many people deliberately pick arguments for that very purpose) but we can increase sexual tension in other ways that are nothing but helpful to your relationship.

Interested in knowing more? Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post…