Hot Married Sex

Sex games are a great way of spicing up your sex life, and you don’t need to invest a lot of time or cash to start benefiting from them. In fact, there are several hot games you could play tonight if you already have a few common items around the house.

Sexy Hangman
Grab a notepad and pencil and play hangman, but instead of having your partner guess the names of movies or books, focus on sexual statements of intention such as: “I want to lick you out” or “I want to give you a blow job”. See how many statements you can work through before you start acting them out.

Strip Sex Games
You can turn almost any card or board game into a sex game simply by agreeing to remove an item of clothing whenever you do badly. For example, you could play snakes and ladders and strip something off whenever you slide down a snake, or you could play checkers and strip something off whenever your partner takes one of your pieces.

Strip Twister
Okay, so I’ve already suggested strip games, but Twister is so unique that it warrants its own paragraph as a completely separate sex game. Basically, all you have to do here is play twister and get your partner to remove an item of clothing every time they fall over. Play long enough and at least one of you should be naked. Hmmm. That Twister mat is made of plastic. Be careful with the lube or you might slip.

Truth or Dare
You don’t need any props at all for this sex game. Yep, it’s that old favourite Truth or Dare. Turn the lights low, open a bottle of your favourite beverage and sit together on a warm sofa, then take it in turns to choose a Truth or Dare. If your partner chooses a Truth, ask them something that will force them to reveal more of their sexual psyche. For example, “How many times have you thought of sex today?” If they choose a Dare, consider it an invitation to boss them around for a moment. For example, to paraphrase a couple of statements I gave earlier, you could say “I dare you to lick me out” or “I dare you to give me a blow job”.

I’m sure there are other sex games that you and your spouse can enjoy together, but the ideas given here should at least be enough to get you through the weekend, and you’re sure to be a winner no matter what happens…

Screaming orgasms might sound like the title of a porn movie, but a screaming orgasm is actually a goal that many couples aspire to achieve. I suppose a screaming orgasm could best be defined as an orgasm so powerful that the lady in question can’t help but make a particularly loud noise, but men can experience the same kind of intensity too – we just tend to grunt rather than squeal.

There is nothing that can guarantee a screaming orgasm (other than getting the wife to deliberately scream when it happens, which is cheating) but there are several steps we can take to make it more likely. I’m writing here primarily for men who want to help their wives experience a screamer, but women who are reading can just as easily apply the same principles to help their husbands crank up the volume when they cum.

Build Up
A screaming orgasm is much more likely if the build up to that orgasm has been lengthy. I don’t just mean 30 or 60 minutes of foreplay, I mean hours of teasing throughout the day. Use dirty talk to get you wife revved up to the point of dampness. Maybe use a little manual stimulation to bring her to the very edge. Then back off until she cools off. Do this several times throughout the day and by the time she gets to bed she should be almost ready to climb the walls.

Avoid The Obvious
When you finally get to the bedroom, you should avoid getting straight down to business. By all means stroke the insides of her thighs, and circle your finger around her clit, but don’t actually push her button or make contact where she wants you to make contact. A good rule of thumb is to spend 15 minutes of foreplay caressing her everywhere except where she really wants to be caressed. It sounds like torture, and it probably is, but it’s a very loving and erotic kind of torture that she will ultimately appreciate.

Take Several Runs
When you feel the time is right, do whatever you normally do to get your wife off. If she has any preferences about how she prefers to orgasm, go for her favourite. Some women like to come through intercourse. Many more would prefer you to practice your muff-diving skills. Others like oral and digital stimulation combined, so both your tongue and your fingers should get involved.

However you go for it, bring her to the edge of orgasm and then stop dead. Withdraw your cock, withdraw your fingers and come up for air. Let the moment subside. Then start again, bringing her to the edge and backing off. Do this several times. If she begins calling you names and writhing like a snake, you know you’re doing it right.

The Big Finish
Having taken several runs at the objective, it’s now time to go for the big finish, but don’t tell her “this is it” or you’ll spoil the element of surprise. Repeat whatever you did in the previous step (that is, deliver her favourite form of stimulation) but this time keep going until he reaches her climax. And keep on going. Continuing to stimulate your wife as she orgasms can often extend that orgasm quite considerably, so don’t stop until she’s totally spent.

You might not help your wife to have screaming orgasms every time you use the ideas presented here, but you’ll certainly help her to achieve orgasms that make her want to scream. And in my book, that’s just as good.

Yesterday I put forward the idea that sexual tension leads to hot sex. If this is the case, how can we increase the amount of sexual tension in our marriage without damaging the relationship itself? Well, there are in fact several ways, and the most useful are as follows:

Retain Some Independence – Although it’s inevitable that couples grow closer the more time they spend together, you should try to make sure that both of you are able to retain some level of independence. Enjoy separate hobbies and interests, have a few non-mutual friends and generally work at keeping at least some aspect of yourself out of the “couple” category. This will ensure that you and your partner don’t become clones with opposing genitalia, and helps keep sexual tension alive.

Agree To Disagree – Couples who insist that they have to agree on everything, no matter how trivial, are inadvertently quelling the sexual tension in their marriage. Just because you’re married to someone doesn’t mean that you have to have exactly the same views on minor matters. Yes, broad agreement on major issues is important, but a little disagreement about whether it’s better to spit or swallow, or watch porn on DVD rather than on a computer (to provide just two appropriately sexy examples) can be a good thing, because it increases tension a notch or two.

Surprise Your Spouse – If your spouse can predict your every move and word, sexual tension will be low. Increase it by breaking out of habitual patterns and deliberately surprising your partner every now and again. Use explicit language if you’re normally shy and reserved in bed. Reveal one of your most secret fantasies in the middle of a conversation about utility bills. “Forget” to wear underwear and make sure your partner discovers your omission. And if you’re the kind of person who does all of that anyway, go to the opposite extreme and surprise your spouse with flowers, chocolates or a new CD.

There are plenty of other ways to increase sexual tension in a safe way, so I’ll leave you to think up some of your own. Just remember that sexual tension is directly related to difference and surprise, so the more different and surprising you can be in areas that aren’t of any great importance, the more you will be able to keep the tension high and enjoy the hot sex that is associated with it.

Talking dirty is one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to better sex that I know of, but what exactly is it, why does it work and how can we make it more effective. Those are the questions I want to explore here.

Dirty talk can best be defined as “sexually provocative language”. In other words, it’s language that we use to try and provoke a heightened sexual response in our partner. Note the way I slipped the word “try” in that last sentence. I did that because not all forms of dirty talk will be considered provocative to all people.

Calling one woman “a fucking slut” in the middle of sex may drive her wild. Calling another woman the same could well result in a slap across the face and a sudden period of enforced celibacy. The same applies when women attempt to talk dirty with their husbands. A woman who says “fuck me like a whore!” might get a great response from one type of guy, and no response at all from another.

For dirty talk to be effective, it needs to be tailored to the person who is going to hear it. Obviously you know your spouse better than anyone, so take a moment to think about the kind of things that are likely to drive them wild in bed and formulate a plan to make your dirty talk as effective and mutually satisfying as possible.

Questions To Ponder

What kind of words does your spouse use? What do they say when they refer to a pussy, cock or the act of having sex? When you have clarified this (we all know but seldom think about it) it makes sense to use the same words when talking dirty – unless you know that coming out with a stronger word at the right moment will send your husband or wife over the edge.

What tone of voice does your partner like? Tonality, accent and pronunciation can be just as important as actual content, so be aware of not only what you say, but also of how you say it. Would your husband want you to whisper “fuck me harder” or to scream it out loud? Would your wife want you to moan “God yeah” quietly or to hiss “God, yeah!” through gritted teeth?

What scenarios turn your spouse on? Knowing this can help you tailor your talk so that it presses their buttons. If your husband likes it when you act like a porn star, you can talk like one (watch a few movies for inspiration if you need to). If your wife likes to fantasise that she’s been hired as your escort for the night, talk to her as if that’s the case.

The point here is that the most effective way of using dirty talk to drive your spouse wild is by giving them what they most desire. You will get turned on the more they get turned on, so you both win and hot sex is virtually guaranteed.

Sex and the brain are intimately linked. In fact, we’ve all heard that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone in the body of both men and women. What this means is that if you don’t turn your brain on, you’ll have a hard time turning anything else on. Here are three secrets of Erotic Psychology that you can use to help put yourself in the mood…

See Yourself As An Object Of Lust
No matter how long you have been married, self-confidence is the most attractive quality you can have.  The more you can project an aura of confidence, the more erotically appealing you will be.  All you need to start experiencing and projecting this high level of confidence is the right mindset.  Simply imagine as vividly as possible that you are sexy and desirable. Get into the habit of doing this several times each day and you will automatically conduct yourself in a sexier, more attractive way. Not only will this make you feel more like having hot sex, it will also make your spouse feel like it too.

Generate Sexual Energy
The more you think about sex before the actual event, the more sexual energy you generate, resulting in bigger, more powerful orgasms when that energy is finally released.  You should therefore make a point of deliberately thinking about sex several times throughout the day, perhaps by reading an explicit book or magazine (see this page for our recommendations), thinking about your lover or simply losing yourself for a few minutes in a favourite erotic fantasy.  If you do this regularly, you will find that your sexual energy – and the level of satisfaction you experience – increases dramatically,

Give As Though You’re Getting Paid For It
When you’re finally between the sheets, act as if you and your spouse are getting paid an enormous amount of money for your efforts.  Either take it in turns to role-play being an escort to each other, or imagine that you’re both being filmed for what will be the most erotic movie ever made.  Both attitudes will make you a more attentive, proactive lover, and your partner is likely to reciprocate with an equal amount of focus and enthusiasm.  Enjoy!