Hot Married Sex

I came across this humorous video on YouTube and I thought it was a great illustration of miscommunication in marriage and how it can lead to sexual frustration. The video is actually a commercial for a telecommunications company, so it’s safe viewing for anyone.

The key to hot sex in a marriage isn’t stamina, technique, setting, fantasy or fetish (although all of those things can and probably will play a part) but something much more fundamental: communication. Put simply, the better you and your spouse are able to communicate with each other, the more enjoyable and fulfilling your sex life will be.

This sounds obvious, right? But many couples hardly talk about sex in an open and adult manner. Instead, they tend to try and second-guess each other, making assumptions about what their spouse likes without every bothering to find out if any of those assumptions are accurate.

If you want to have some of the best, mind-blowing sex of your married life, you need to start communicating about the topic. Here are some tips to get you started:

Pick Your Moment
Starting a conversation about sex whilst queuing at the supermarket checkout or doing the dishes probably won’t be very effective. Instead, pick your moment so that you know you will both be relaxed and in a fun mood. Dim the lights, get comfortable and – if you like – crack open a bottle of wine.

Ask Questions
Take it in turn to ask each other questions that you’d like the answers to. We currently have a sex questions game in development here at Hot Married Sex that we will tell you about as soon as it is available, but for now you can use any questions that come to mind. Here are some examples:

• What is your favourite sexual act?
• What is your favourite position?
• What word turns you on more than any other?
• What was the last sexual fantasy you had?

Be sure to take it in turns asking each other questions so that communication develops. If you ignore this advice the whole exercise could feel like an interrogation for the person being questioned.

Be Honest
When answering questions that your spouse asks you, always be honest. Of course, you should always be sensitive to their feelings, but as far as possible, speak the plain truth. If you fantasise about your spouse being more dominant or submissive in bed, say so. If you like it when they moan obscenities during sex, specify which ones turn you on the most. The more honest and open you can be when playing this conversation game, the more you will get out of it.

By making communication like this a regular part of your life, you and your spouse will soon learn more about each other than you ever imagined possible. Even if you’ve been married for twenty years, this exercise will help unlock the kind of dynamic sexual energy you might not have thought possible. Just talking about sex in such a frank way will probably turn you on, and that’s great. But why not then start incorporating some of the things you learn in these conversations into your sex life? If you do this, you’re guaranteed to take things to a whole new level.