Hot Married Sex

Dirty sex, filthy sex, nasty sex – it seems that most of us like to, or are at least in the habit of, describing sex in fairly dark ways. Of course, very few of us really believe that sex is dirty, filthy or nasty, but there is something about “getting down and dirty” that sounds a lot more appealing than “making sweet sweet love”.

The same observation can be made about the way in which we talk to our partners about and during the sexual act. “I want to fuck you hard” tends to get the primal desires roused far more effectively than “I want to enjoy rigorous intercourse with you”, even though both statements say roughly the same thing.

I think that our preference for “dirty words” stems from cultural ideas about sex that were handed down to us during childhood. Many of us were taught, either explicitly or implicitly, that “cock”, “cunt” and “fuck” were “dirty, nasty words” and shouldn’t be used to describe genitalia or the act of intercourse. In fact, all three were the regular Saxon words for precisely those things, and it wasn’t until society arbitrarily decided they were impolite that they were viewed as anything other than regular words. Naturally, as soon as polite society outlawed the open use of such words, they were all endowed with the ability to turn us on more than they had ever done previously.

Of course, some people really do think that sex itself is a dirty subject, and some people consider even married sex to be a waste of time unless the couple in question are trying to have children. Okay, maybe such people will concede that it’s acceptable to have a bit of missionary once a month “as a token”, but even mention oral sex, anal sex, mutual masturbation or handcuffs and they will look at you as if you need locking away.

In a way, this isn’t such a bad thing, because it can add a hue of teenage rebellion to married sex that keeps us feeling young and daring. “How many other married couples fuck as hot and hard as we do?” we might ask ourselves in a self-congratulatory way. The fact is that millions of other married couples are just as hot and hard in the bedroom, but because society likes to keep such facts away from the public consciousness, we all end up feeling a bit unique and rather proud.

That being the case, I suggest you forget everything I just said. Married couples should be pure and wholesome, not having dirty, filthy, nasty sex. And if you do have dirty, filthy, nasty sex with all of that cock-sucking and pussy-licking business, you’re depraved and should be flogged. And whatever you do, don’t think about cumming hard tonight in that bedroom of yours – it’s just wrong, I tell you…

In my previous post on Screaming Orgasms I somehow – accidentally, inadvertently, and undeliberately – used the phrase “muff-diving” to refer to the act of cunnilingus. It has now come to my attention that said “muff-diving” is a term that some women don’t like.

Maybe it’s because it makes cunnilingus sound like an Olympic sport. Or maybe some women don’t like to refer to their muffs as muffs because they shave their pubes. In this case, would a shaved muff be better referred to as a buff? And would buff-diving then be a similarly unacceptable term?

It never ceases to amaze me how language divides people, especially in the area of sexuality. Should we say vagina, pussy or something else? Should we say penis, cock or dick? Is cunnilingus preferable to muff-diving, eating out or drinking from the furry bowl? And what about fellatio? Is that really any more polite than saying cock-sucking or dick-licking?

Some people could get offended when I refer to hot sex as “fucking”, because they might assume that fucking doesn’t involve love. But for me, it does, because I only ever fuck my wife, and I love her to bits. And that brings me to my point, which is this: words can only be offensive when the person being offended brings their own definition to those words.

When I say muff-diving I mean the fine art of going down on my lady and performing a loving act of cunnilingus. That’s my definition of the phrase, so I don’t find it offensive or intend offence when I use it. However, if you picture a guy standing on a diving board wearing a snorkel and flippers, about to make a leap of faith into an overgrown pussy – sorry, vagina – then I can understand how it might not be such a pretty phrase for you. But remember, YOU put that guy in flippers, not me.

So, whilst you’re here, make yourself useful and tell me what words you prefer to use for the following. Also tell me which words for the following turn you on the most, if those are different:

1 – Penis
2 – Vagina
3 – Sexual Intercourse
4 – Fellatio
5 – Cunnilingus