Hot Married Sex

Manners and etiquette aren’t the most popular words of the 21st century, but they are essential if you want to enjoy hot married sex on a regular basis. If talking about manners and etiquette is likely to make you fall asleep then just think of something called The Dating Mentality.

My view is that if more married men and women worked on adopting the same attitude to their partner as they did when they first started dating them, the level of sexual intimacy and heat they would enjoy as a married couple would go through the roof. Why? Because most couples simply don’t try as hard to impress after a few years of marriage as they did in the beginning.

Think back to the time when you first started dating your spouse. The chances are that you were very particular about the way you presented yourself – paying attention to everything from the clothes and cologne that you wore right through to the words you used in general conversation. Guys, you probably tried hard to do gentlemanly things like opening doors and pulling out chairs for your partner. Ladies, you probably tried hard to flirt and look interested without being pushy. And you know what? All of this stuff worked, because here you are, years later with wedding rings on your fingers.

But where did The Dating Mentality go? If you’re like most couples, you probably allowed it to sneak off when nobody was looking. And although years of being together have brought you far closer than you were back in the beginning, the more relaxed attitude probably means that neither of you are as mindful of the impression you make on your partner as you once were.

My suggestion for today is that you go back to how you were right at the beginning of your relationship and brush up The Dating Mentality. Present yourself carefully to make the best impression you can on your partner and enjoy flirting and playing as you did back then. Not only will your partner find the more obvious interest compelling, it will help you both to tap into the connection that lies at the heart of your relationship. And, yes, you’ll probably enjoy hotter married sex as a result…

Sexual polarity is a simple concept that couples can use to make their relationships more exciting, intense and passionate. Note that I said relationships rather than sex lives. This is because sexual polarity plays just as large a role in daily life as it does in the bedroom.

The term sexual polarity refers to the two opposing ends of the masculine-feminine spectrum, and the concept that you can use to improve your relationship is this: opposites attract much more than those who are of a similar polarity. For example, if you are an extremely masculine man, you will be more attracted to an extremely feminine woman than you will to a masculine woman. Similarly, if you are a very feminine woman, you will be more attracted to a very masculine man than you will to an effeminate one.

Isn’t that common sense? Well, yes and no. Yes, because it’s a concept that has been at work (even if not defined) since the dawn of mankind. And no, because far too many couples complain about losing the “spark” in their marriage without considering whether this sexual polarity principle has been broken. And if you aren’t aware of it, the principle gets broken all the time.

Consider a very masculine man who marries a very feminine woman. As the years pass, the woman becomes stronger and more independent. She is used to being in charge at work, and brings that skill home to organise the household and family. At the same time, the man learns to soften his approach to life, communicates more openly about his feelings and even discovers that he enjoys cooking meals for the kids. All of this is good stuff in one context, but because both partners are moving towards each other on the sexual polarity scale, passion in the relationship will automatically decline.

You may think that I am being rather old fashioned here, and deserve the wrath of a thousand feminists, but I am not. The same sexual polarity principle applies to so-called fem-dom relationships where the female enjoys dominating the male and the male enjoys submitting to the female. In these situations, the passion is at its strongest when the female displays the maximum masculine trait of domination and the male displays the maximum female trait of submission. If the man suddenly gets more pushy, or the woman gets more lenient, the dynamic of the relationship changes automatically.

Now I am not saying that we should all choose one end of the spectrum and stick to it rigidly. It’s important for men to acknowledge their feminine side, and just as important for women to acknowledge their masculine side. What I am saying is that being aware of this sexual polarity concept can help you to identify if your relationship could be improved by adjusting the balance a little.

For example, if you know that you and your partner are more like buddies than polar opposites on the sexual polarity scale, you can take steps to move in opposite directions and brace yourselves for the increase in passion and intensity that will automatically follow. I will present some concrete ideas on how to do this tomorrow. Until then, have a think about the sexual polarity scale and try to identify where you and your partner appear on it. Then mark the scale to reflect where you both were when you got married. We will use that information tomorrow.

Eyes open orgasms are, as the term suggests, orgasms that you have with your eyes open. Most people have got into the habit of coming with their eyes closed, and although there’s nothing wrong with that, making a point of working towards and experiencing orgasm with your eyes open has a number of surprising benefits.

The first is that you will become more aware of how your body is responding to what you and your partner are doing. With your eyes closed it’s easy to just allow yourself to get carried along by sensations on a largely unconscious level, but when you have your eyes open you’ll connect the experience with the action that triggered it. For example, that delightful ache in your pussy might be due to the way your husband uses his fingers in just the right place. If you know this, you can identify exactly what turns you on more than anything else and, when the mood strikes, focus on it.

Next, having your eyes open allows you to make a deeper connection with your partner. Think about when the two of you first met and you might recall spending a long time looking into those eyes. But when was the last time you looked into them – really looked into them – for several minutes? If it’s more than a month (and for some people it’s years) keeping your eyes open and fixed on your partner during sex could rekindle some very deep feelings you’d forgotten you had.

Finally, when you achieve orgasm itself with your eyes open, you’ll find that it feels quite a bit different to an eyes closed orgasm. Rather than feeling yourself orgasm in a sea of blackness that has no real roots in time or space, you will notice that your orgasm feels more grounded, somehow more “real” and in many cases, more intense.

It has to be said that it generally takes longer to have an orgasm with your eyes open than it does to have one with your eyes closed (this is especially so for women), and you might need to give the idea a try several times before you finally succeed. But when you do, I’m confident that you’ll be glad you made the effort.

Oral sex techniques can help you to increase the amount of satisfaction that your partner gets from oral sex itself, and also increase the intensity of their eventual orgasm.

Here are some oral sex techniques that you can use to drive your lover wild in bed…

Fellatio Techniques

1 - Don’t be afraid of using your hand and masturbating your man whilst you have his cock in your mouth. Although the head (or glans, if you prefer) is the most sensitive part of the penis, stimulating the shaft as well will add a lot to his pleasure.

2 - Use your tongue in different ways. Flick the head of his cock with the tip of your tongue, rub the underside of the shaft (just below the head) with the flat of your tongue and feel free to take his cock out of your mouth and lick it like an ice cream.

3 - Make eye contact. Men are visually stimulated, so look at him when you’re giving him head and let him see how much you’re enjoying it.

4 - Act ravenous. Men love the idea of their wives being hungry for their cocks, so let yourself go and be enthusiastic about it. Just be careful with your teeth, please.

5 - If your hub wants to come in your mouth and you’re not keen because you don’t want his load hitting the back of your throat and making you gag, you can do what many porn stars do and tuck the head of his dick under your tongue as he comes. This will control the flow at the moment of ejaculation and you can then spit or swallow when he has finished.

Cunnilingus Techniques

1 - Don’t go straight for the clitoris. Instead, spend some time licking and gently sucking the lips of her pussy before circling the clit and – eventually – stimulating it directly with your tongue.

2 - You can use your tongue in many different ways (as I told women a few moments ago). Try lapping at her with your tongue loose and flat or using the tip of your tongue to provide more direct massage. You can also try stimulating her clit with the underside of your tongue, as many women love the sensation that gives.

3 - Use your fingers at the same time as you eat your woman out. Insert a finger or two (with the pads of your fingertips facing the ceiling, assuming she’s lying on her back) and massage her G Spot gently at first and then as firmly as she likes when she gets closer to orgasm.

4 - Some women – though by no means all – also like a finger inserted in their anus during cunnilingus. If you aren’t sure about this, either ask her beforehand or have the little finger of your free hand lubed and in the vicinity of her ass as you eat her out. Ever so lightly touch her anus and if she likes what you’re doing she’ll automatically bear down on your finger or tell you to go for it. Just remember that once a finger or anything else has been near her ass, you should never use it to stimulate her clitoral or vaginal region, as this could cause an infection.

Is driving your spouse wild in bed as easy as using these oral sex techniques? Try them tonight and find out!

Sex games are a great way of spicing up your sex life, and you don’t need to invest a lot of time or cash to start benefiting from them. In fact, there are several hot games you could play tonight if you already have a few common items around the house.

Sexy Hangman
Grab a notepad and pencil and play hangman, but instead of having your partner guess the names of movies or books, focus on sexual statements of intention such as: “I want to lick you out” or “I want to give you a blow job”. See how many statements you can work through before you start acting them out.

Strip Sex Games
You can turn almost any card or board game into a sex game simply by agreeing to remove an item of clothing whenever you do badly. For example, you could play snakes and ladders and strip something off whenever you slide down a snake, or you could play checkers and strip something off whenever your partner takes one of your pieces.

Strip Twister
Okay, so I’ve already suggested strip games, but Twister is so unique that it warrants its own paragraph as a completely separate sex game. Basically, all you have to do here is play twister and get your partner to remove an item of clothing every time they fall over. Play long enough and at least one of you should be naked. Hmmm. That Twister mat is made of plastic. Be careful with the lube or you might slip.

Truth or Dare
You don’t need any props at all for this sex game. Yep, it’s that old favourite Truth or Dare. Turn the lights low, open a bottle of your favourite beverage and sit together on a warm sofa, then take it in turns to choose a Truth or Dare. If your partner chooses a Truth, ask them something that will force them to reveal more of their sexual psyche. For example, “How many times have you thought of sex today?” If they choose a Dare, consider it an invitation to boss them around for a moment. For example, to paraphrase a couple of statements I gave earlier, you could say “I dare you to lick me out” or “I dare you to give me a blow job”.

I’m sure there are other sex games that you and your spouse can enjoy together, but the ideas given here should at least be enough to get you through the weekend, and you’re sure to be a winner no matter what happens…