Hot Married Sex

Porn videos don’t just have to be watched as their directors intended. There are a few creative porn video uses that are almost artistic yet still succeed in establishing an erotic or downright horny, atmosphere.

I suggest you pick a night when you and your spouse are guaranteed to be alone (you won’t want unexpected visitors) and then consider using one of the creative porn ideas below to establish a more intense sexual ambience in your home…

Muted Porn
Put a porn DVD into your player and then mute the sound. At the same time, play your favourite CD on your hi-fi and sit down with your spouse to enjoy a conversation over your favourite drink. There’s something unusual about listening to smooth jazz or classical music and enjoying a night of conversation whilst the TV is showing porn stars going at it like animals in heat.

Blind Porn
Here’s a variation on the previous idea. This time you should play a porn DVD and turn off the TV but have the audio coming through a surround sound system, so that you can hear but not see the action. Conversation may be more stilted when you try this, but you’ll be surprised at how much of a turn on listening to other people have hot sex can be.

Big Screen Porn
If you have a multimedia projector (you can now buy rudimentary but serviceable models for just a few hundred pounds or dollars) then  consider closing the curtains and projecting your favourite porn film onto your bedroom wall. Getting down and dirty with larger-than life porn stars in the background will be something you remember for a long time.

Hot Married Variations
Don’t like the idea of having regular porn in the house? Why not record your own movie with your spouse and then use that to replace the porn DVD in any of the previous suggestions? If you don’t like watching yourself, try the blind porn idea. If you don’t like listening, try the muted porn. And if you’re happy to watch and listen to yourself, why not put yourself on the big screen?

Being creative with porn can lead to a much more memorable night than simply watching it on TV with the remote in your hand. The suggestions presented here put the porn in the background so that you and your spouse can focus on what’s most important – each other.

Does your sex life ever feel like it’s become something of a routine? If so, you’re not alone – it’s a common complaint among married couples; even those who have a routine of hot sex. For that reason I’d now like to present you with six ways to vary your sexual routine that might prove useful…

Have Fully Clothed Sex
Most of us get naked when we have hot sex, so try keeping your clothes on for a change. Yes, I’m talking about fully clothed sex. It can be more erotic than you might imagine. All that lifting of skirts, pulling aside of panties and unzipping of flies. Give it a go. But pay for your own dry cleaning.

Make It Wet
Do you use lube? Where do you put it. Thought so. Stop being so predictable and try using it everywhere. Grease each other up and then get down and dirty. Be careful though, it’s slippery when wet.

Choose Sex Names
Ask your partner to choose a sex name that represents their unbridled lust, and do the same for yourself. Then, when you’re having sex, be sure to use those names – a lot. This idea is similar to role play, but requires a lot less planning. That said, it can just as hot if you allow yourselves to get into the spirit of things.

Make Love Like A Porn Star
Watch a porn movie (or a sexy 18 movie if porn isn’t your bag) with the explicit intention of copying your favourite scene. Tip for the guys: that movie with the gang bang scene in the garage probably isn’t a good one – choose a straightforward male-female scene that your wife enjoys as much as you do.

Wear Masks
Okay, so maybe you laughed when you watched Eyes Wide Shut, but masks have plenty of erotic potential because they give you both and “excuse” (as if one were necessary) to really let loose. You’ll be surprised at how hot things can get when you both agree to wear a simple mask, so get your ass to the fancy dress store ASAP.

Oppose Your Routine
My final suggestion is that you deliberately oppose your routine by doing things in the exact opposite way that you normally do them. Do you normally fuck with the lights on? Turn them off. Do you have hot sex at night? Try the mornings or afternoons. Is it always in bed? Get busy in the lounge, or why not hire a hotel room for a weekend?

None of the six tips presented here require a degree in rocket science, but they can all fire up the booster engines of your hot married sex life. Ready to launch? Then get to it…

Yesterday I put forward the idea that sexual tension leads to hot sex. If this is the case, how can we increase the amount of sexual tension in our marriage without damaging the relationship itself? Well, there are in fact several ways, and the most useful are as follows:

Retain Some Independence – Although it’s inevitable that couples grow closer the more time they spend together, you should try to make sure that both of you are able to retain some level of independence. Enjoy separate hobbies and interests, have a few non-mutual friends and generally work at keeping at least some aspect of yourself out of the “couple” category. This will ensure that you and your partner don’t become clones with opposing genitalia, and helps keep sexual tension alive.

Agree To Disagree – Couples who insist that they have to agree on everything, no matter how trivial, are inadvertently quelling the sexual tension in their marriage. Just because you’re married to someone doesn’t mean that you have to have exactly the same views on minor matters. Yes, broad agreement on major issues is important, but a little disagreement about whether it’s better to spit or swallow, or watch porn on DVD rather than on a computer (to provide just two appropriately sexy examples) can be a good thing, because it increases tension a notch or two.

Surprise Your Spouse – If your spouse can predict your every move and word, sexual tension will be low. Increase it by breaking out of habitual patterns and deliberately surprising your partner every now and again. Use explicit language if you’re normally shy and reserved in bed. Reveal one of your most secret fantasies in the middle of a conversation about utility bills. “Forget” to wear underwear and make sure your partner discovers your omission. And if you’re the kind of person who does all of that anyway, go to the opposite extreme and surprise your spouse with flowers, chocolates or a new CD.

There are plenty of other ways to increase sexual tension in a safe way, so I’ll leave you to think up some of your own. Just remember that sexual tension is directly related to difference and surprise, so the more different and surprising you can be in areas that aren’t of any great importance, the more you will be able to keep the tension high and enjoy the hot sex that is associated with it.

Yesterday I talked about whether watching porn was a good or bad thing in a marriage, and my conclusion was that it depends on the people in the marriage. If both partners are happy to watch porn and derive pleasure and benefit from it then there’s no reason not to as far as I can see.

That said, I think we all have to be careful, especially if there are kids or visitors in the house. Having your Aunt Mabel come across your well-hidden DVD stash because you forgot to rescue it from the spare room isn’t something that you’d be likely to forget in a hurry, and it’s because of risks like this that more and more couples are beginning to rely exclusively on streaming porn.

Streaming porn is porn that you watch on your desktop or laptop computer, and the advantage is that it’s convenient (no shopping trips required if the mood hits you suddenly) and there are no physical DVDs to hide from Aunt Mabel.

Of course, you have to be selective about where you choose to buy your online porn. What you want to look for is a site that is legal, licensed and responsible and provides a good an ever-growing range of movies at a reasonable price. You also need to make sure that the site has excellent customer services should a stream or download go wrong.

One of the best places we have found for streaming porn is Strictly Broadband. It’s a British-based company with a wide selection of titles that can be viewed on demand. There are also movies that you can download to play on a video iPod or PSP, which is handy. Other providers can be found on our XXX Links page.

Is pornography an aid or an obstacle as far as having hot married sex is concerned? This is a question that many people ask, but the short answer is that there is no short answer. Whether porn enhances a relationship or otherwise depends on the individuals involved in the marriage and what their perceptions of porn are to begin with.

Couples who agree that porn is harmless fun can get a great deal out of porn. They can use it together to increase libido, maybe learn a few tricks and spark a hot, steamy session that brings them closer.

Couples who agree that porn isn’t harmless fun – for whatever reason – can choose to avoid it and find other ways of increasing their libido, expanding their sexual repertoires and keep sex hot and exciting.

The only couples who might have some difficulty with porn is where one partner is really into it and the other isn’t. In this scenario I believe the spouse who is enthusiastic about porn has to discuss the issue with their partner. There are a couple of questions that could be asked:

What is your partner’s definition of porn? It could be that they assume all porn is hardcore to the extreme and involves peanut butter pony play in gimp masks. If so, they might still feel comfortable watching much gentler porn with a plot that provides a more romantic context.

How would they feel about you watching porn in private from time to time? If it’s an issue for them you need to find out so that you can respect the wishes of your spouse and keep your marriage strong and healthy. Watching porn in secret may give you a thrill in the short term, but if the cost is marital peace and harmony, I’d say the short term thrill would come at far too big a price.

What alternatives to porn would your partner be willing to explore? How about verbal porn, where you both create your own scenarios? Or maybe reading explicit fiction to each other would provide all the thrill you need to pep up your sex life?

This is a big subject, so I will be revisiting it in the near future. For now, I’d conclude that porn isn’t actually necessary for a married couple to have hot sex, but that it does help many – especially when they’ve been together for years and know every inch of each other intimately.

And for those of you who want to explore the world of non-porn sexual video (yes, there really is such a thing!) I suggest you take a look at My Beautiful Agony and I Feel Myself. You may be surprised at just how arousing non-porn can be!