Hot Married Sex

Porn videos don’t just have to be watched as their directors intended. There are a few creative porn video uses that are almost artistic yet still succeed in establishing an erotic or downright horny, atmosphere.

I suggest you pick a night when you and your spouse are guaranteed to be alone (you won’t want unexpected visitors) and then consider using one of the creative porn ideas below to establish a more intense sexual ambience in your home…

Muted Porn
Put a porn DVD into your player and then mute the sound. At the same time, play your favourite CD on your hi-fi and sit down with your spouse to enjoy a conversation over your favourite drink. There’s something unusual about listening to smooth jazz or classical music and enjoying a night of conversation whilst the TV is showing porn stars going at it like animals in heat.

Blind Porn
Here’s a variation on the previous idea. This time you should play a porn DVD and turn off the TV but have the audio coming through a surround sound system, so that you can hear but not see the action. Conversation may be more stilted when you try this, but you’ll be surprised at how much of a turn on listening to other people have hot sex can be.

Big Screen Porn
If you have a multimedia projector (you can now buy rudimentary but serviceable models for just a few hundred pounds or dollars) then  consider closing the curtains and projecting your favourite porn film onto your bedroom wall. Getting down and dirty with larger-than life porn stars in the background will be something you remember for a long time.

Hot Married Variations
Don’t like the idea of having regular porn in the house? Why not record your own movie with your spouse and then use that to replace the porn DVD in any of the previous suggestions? If you don’t like watching yourself, try the blind porn idea. If you don’t like listening, try the muted porn. And if you’re happy to watch and listen to yourself, why not put yourself on the big screen?

Being creative with porn can lead to a much more memorable night than simply watching it on TV with the remote in your hand. The suggestions presented here put the porn in the background so that you and your spouse can focus on what’s most important – each other.

Here’s a great oral sex video about the dilemma men face when they want to orgasm in the mouth of their partner, but aren’t allowed to do so. I wouldn’t really describe it as a dilemma (if she doesn’t want you to do that, don’t do it is my advice) but take a look at what Dan and Jennifer have to say on the subject.

How hot are you? That’s a question that few people ever ask themselves with any seriousness, but one that can help you to pack more sizzle into your relationship than any other.

When most of us think about our relationships, we tend to assess the other people in it. How hot is my wife/husband? Could they be hotter? What can I do to help them to let go of their inhibitions and unleash their inner slut/bad boy?

Whilst such questions can be useful in some circumstances, I have another question that is even more powerful: Would I get turned on if I lived with me?

Think about that question for a moment and imagine that you’ve traded places with your significant other. Then, through their eyes, honestly evaluate how much of a turn on you really are. Are you the kind of person that you’d like to live with? Are you as sexy, funny, charming, loving, caring, honest and considerate as you normally think you are? Or are you sometimes demanding, selfish, inconsiderate and deceitful? And would you really and truly be delighted to live with yourself for one year, five years, ten years and more?

Most of us who consider such questions honestly will admit that there is certainly room for improvement, and that’s a good thing, because it gives us something to work on to improve our marriages without pointing the finger anywhere outside ourselves.

One of the best things you or I can do to make our marriages stronger, our married sex hotter and our lives happier, is to commit ourselves to becoming a better person for the benefit and happiness of our spouse. This doesn’t mean putting our spouse at the centre of the universe; it just means understanding the impact we have on the marriage as a whole, and doing our best to make that impact the very best one we can manage.

So ask yourself again: Would I get turned on if I lived with me? If the honest answer is yes, congratulations. Define what makes you so great and do more of it. If the honest answer is hesitant or negative, identify what you can do to improve yourself and start working on those things. By improving yourself you will do your marriage and your hot sex life the world of good, and your spouse won’t fail to notice.

A pastor of a church in Florida has issued a challenge to the married members of his congregation – to have sex for 30 nights in a row. Regardless of your religious beliefs, this sounds like a challenge worth taking up – even if only to see what you learn on the way. Take a look at the CBS news video clip below (you’ll have to watch a 30 second commercial first) and see what you think:

Sexual polarity is a simple concept that couples can use to make their relationships more exciting, intense and passionate. Note that I said relationships rather than sex lives. This is because sexual polarity plays just as large a role in daily life as it does in the bedroom.

The term sexual polarity refers to the two opposing ends of the masculine-feminine spectrum, and the concept that you can use to improve your relationship is this: opposites attract much more than those who are of a similar polarity. For example, if you are an extremely masculine man, you will be more attracted to an extremely feminine woman than you will to a masculine woman. Similarly, if you are a very feminine woman, you will be more attracted to a very masculine man than you will to an effeminate one.

Isn’t that common sense? Well, yes and no. Yes, because it’s a concept that has been at work (even if not defined) since the dawn of mankind. And no, because far too many couples complain about losing the “spark” in their marriage without considering whether this sexual polarity principle has been broken. And if you aren’t aware of it, the principle gets broken all the time.

Consider a very masculine man who marries a very feminine woman. As the years pass, the woman becomes stronger and more independent. She is used to being in charge at work, and brings that skill home to organise the household and family. At the same time, the man learns to soften his approach to life, communicates more openly about his feelings and even discovers that he enjoys cooking meals for the kids. All of this is good stuff in one context, but because both partners are moving towards each other on the sexual polarity scale, passion in the relationship will automatically decline.

You may think that I am being rather old fashioned here, and deserve the wrath of a thousand feminists, but I am not. The same sexual polarity principle applies to so-called fem-dom relationships where the female enjoys dominating the male and the male enjoys submitting to the female. In these situations, the passion is at its strongest when the female displays the maximum masculine trait of domination and the male displays the maximum female trait of submission. If the man suddenly gets more pushy, or the woman gets more lenient, the dynamic of the relationship changes automatically.

Now I am not saying that we should all choose one end of the spectrum and stick to it rigidly. It’s important for men to acknowledge their feminine side, and just as important for women to acknowledge their masculine side. What I am saying is that being aware of this sexual polarity concept can help you to identify if your relationship could be improved by adjusting the balance a little.

For example, if you know that you and your partner are more like buddies than polar opposites on the sexual polarity scale, you can take steps to move in opposite directions and brace yourselves for the increase in passion and intensity that will automatically follow. I will present some concrete ideas on how to do this tomorrow. Until then, have a think about the sexual polarity scale and try to identify where you and your partner appear on it. Then mark the scale to reflect where you both were when you got married. We will use that information tomorrow.